| George Reagan and Joy Blackwell engaged to be married 9-13-06 
And no, I am not pregnant!! Hehe. But I am the happiest version of me so far. |
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| wow, i forgot about xanga.
it's all about myspace now, isn't it? haha.
no one reads this anymore seeing how my last entry was one year ago.
but quick update...
I live in flowermound now. I run a 7-11 in grapevine. I have a very
loving, incredible, sweet, funny, smart, intuitive boyfriend who knows
me better than i know myself most of the time. and my parents adore
him, which isn't required, but a bonus. (my dad and George can't get
enough of each other.) I am a 'stepmom' to two wonderful boys, Jake and
Eli (10 and 8) who I love and they love me back. They are two kickass
children. I mostly hang out with Katy and Natalie when I have time to
hang out. I am playing guitar again. Mostly just for George. We are
writing music together.
anyway, you can figure most everything else out on my myspace. www.myspace.com/joy_ella
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| somedays are better than others.
i have a new job. 7-11 store manager. the higher pay is the only thing i like about it.
and the free coffee / slurpees.
i <3 my roommate.
i can't sleep.
i'm going through a transitional phase that won't let my mind rest. it's lonely but worth it.
i'm exhausted. |
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| please forgive me then forget me. everyone i've ever touched or who's ever cared about me, i have deeply hurt for no good reason but blind selfishness. i had no idea what my actions were doing to those around me. i was only thinking about myself. i am a terrible person with nothing i can say to make up for what i've done. there are no excuses. i take full responsiblity.
all i can say is that I am truly sorry.
I'm at my parents' for a few days to work things out in my heart/mind and change this way of living i've grown accustom to. i have to change. there is no other option. i can't live with myself like this anymore.
i don't blame any of you for writing me off, in fact i hope you do write off the person i was...i have to write that person off to. i don't expect forgiveness or kind words or pity even. there's nothing i can do to make up for what i've done. i just have to learn from the past and change the future.
i realized all of this too late.
i don't know what else to say. |
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| does anyone want to contribute to my "i don't qualify for financial aid anymore because technically i'm a dependent" fund? |
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